13 years ago today I was married. I have grown in what love is in ways I never imagined. I can say with certainty that I love my husband more today than I did on October 9, 1999. I am sure that I will continue to grow in love for him. We have only begun to scratch the surface of discovering how to love. We have our whole lives to figure it out.
October 9, 1999, the day I made a covenant before God to be married to my husband. I took very seriously my promise to God to love this man for the rest of my life. To be his wife for better or worse and all the rest in between. A part of me determined to get my dream of the white picket fenced home and all the perfection that picture represented in my mind.
I would be lying if I did not say that there have been times I have asked if this was truly the man God intended for me. Times when the disappointments were hard and my expectations not met. I heard the wisdom given of how marriage needed to be cared for and nurtured, that a marriage requires work. I heard it. Yet I had no idea what to expect. In 13 years we have had seasons where we both worked hard at our marriage. Seasons when he worked hard and those when I did. I am convinced that during it all God has always been at work, in me, in my husband and all around us. I see so much in me that is different as a direct result of my submission to God in my marriage (a process I will admit- always in process).
So, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that YES this is the man God intended for me. This man, imperfect as he is, is most assuredly the perfect man for me an imperfect woman myself. My God knew all that my marriage would hold and all that He would accomplish through it. For our refinement and for HIS glory. I started out with the hope and prayer that God would meet my expectations in my marriage. That He would ultimately answer all my prayers for a good marriage, a happy marriage. Like the ones I envisioned and saw on TV ;), or like those I imagined everyone else who was married had. Little did I know at the time that I would receive treasures of far more value than the perfect relationship I was convinced would bring me satisfaction.
The opportunity to love as Christ loved me, unconditionally. To choose love when every part of my flesh fights against it. To keep no record of wrongs. To forgive like Jesus does. When I said I do, when I made that promise to be married before God I had so many ill conceived ideas of what it would look like. It never truly occurred to me that the person I was marrying was a human being as fallible as myself. That my focus needed to be how I was going to love him. Not how he was going to love me. How marriage being the picture of Christ and the church is so much more than simple earthly pleasures. That I was being called to reflect something so much greater than a happy marriage. Marriage is full of sacrifice and selflessness. It is the message of commitment and love. I stand humbled that my God would consider me worthy to be a messenger of such a message.
13 years of marriage in comparison to many is still small, yet today 13 years of marriage is not so common. Our hearts are convinced that in marriage we should be happy, in marriage we should have our needs met. I am finding that it is exactly when my needs are not met that I can fully depend on Jesus to meet all my needs and in turn I can be a reflection of Jesus to my husband, and that has been one of my life's greatest honors.
I no longer view marriage the way I did and I am so glad. It holds so much more today than it did October 9, 1999. So Happy Anniversary to my husband whom I will love until the day I die. I love you Sal, more today than I did 13 years ago.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
I have been reading friends blogs a little here and there lately. That led me to here, my blog. I stopped blogging around 2 years ago. There are many reasons why blogging slid to the bottom of my list, but the biggest was probably all that my heart was learning. It was hard to filter and still be transparent. I am not very good at hiding where I am and blogging is no different. Although I like that I am an open book, I also realize that blog-land is not always the place to vent my heart. So a season of rest from blogging was absolutely wise. But as I go through my old posts I am so blessed. To reflect and remember all that we have done. Reading my posts and remembering exactly where I was internally and what God was showing me. The ways I was being stretched and pruned all for His glory and my growth. Being polished to reflect Him and His goodness. So sweet.
Therefore, I am going to attempt to begin to journal our moments again. Twenty two months ago our lives were changed by the birth of Sofia Hope. I knew that my pregnancy was a glimmer of hope in so many ways, yet I had no idea how much God would use the pregnancy and all that followed to drive home that HE is my hope. God is enough! Always!
May my life always be for His glory.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Wedding
I took pictures for a wedding this weekend.
I came away with a few new insights:
* Weddings are extremely stressful
* I do not believe weddings are my preferred event to photograph
* Children are actually easier to work with when dealing with cameras
* Lastly but most important I really want/need Photoshop!
It was a beautiful wedding. I am so excited for the new Mr. and Mrs.!
Friday, May 28, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
I realized after my last post that I totally missed my firstborns birthday (posting that is). So I guess I do not 'always' post on their birthdays! Our littlest peanut turned 2 a few weeks ago and I have not gotten around to posting anything....So instead of a long post with things I am sure you may already assume I would say. Because it should come as no surprise that I love him so very much. Here are some pictures of our weekend in Charlotte...
Pizza followed by birthday cake...mmmm!
As is customary we do not simply do one birthday cake around these parts...
Some fun on the tractor...or so I thought. Sam-Sam was NOT thrilled about the tractor...nope not at all thrilled.
Spanky "helped" grandpa with several tasks...
Tractor washing...
Car washing?? Doesn't look like he was getting to involved in the actual washing as much as he was enjoying daydreaming about cruising!
To finish off the weekend Uncle B-doggy put up an impromptu tire swing and it was awesome!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
A Month of Celebrations
The month of April brings many things. Birth of newness outdoors as well as the reminder of the gift of new life through the gift of the cross. My husbands and third child's birthdays as well as many other family members.
Every year I try and post on my baby's birthdays and although I am a few days late here is my post for our Spanky. I will confess that even though my post is late, that boy has had more birthday celebrations than any of us put together!
Like any of my monkeys he gives us so very much to celebrate! I can vividly remember when I discovered that I was carrying our third child. I was scared!! Very scared, the timing was not ours (hahaha...as if it ever is). We had just moved to SC and were just getting our feet on the ground with all the changes that the move brought. I don't even remember the reasons and can most assuredly say they don't hold a candle to the joy and life that Donovan brings into our daily life. He has an enthusiasm and joy for life that we should all learn from.
With *DIMPLES* that melt my heart every time he flashes that ridiculously amazing smile of his!
A heart so sweet, I love to get glimpses of it!
Energy and zeal that I envy.
Thoroughly capable of soaking in all of life's moments for all they are worth!
I am humbled at God's goodness to take my initial fears and shatter them with the immeasurable gift of my Spanky.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
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